The problem with Today’s Society (Sexism)

There are so many things that a female has to hear or are forced to do just because they are females. People say we are an equal nation but are we? Yes, many females have started to work and girls get education but there are so many things that are no where close to equal and the worst part of all is that most sexism starts from home itself. When we can’t fix sexism in our homes we can’t hope to change things outside. I was thinking and there are so many things that only a woman has to hear because she is a female.

 

  • Stop crying like a girl
  • You throw like a girl
  • You run like a girl
  • Who is the man of the house?
  • Who is the man of the relationship?
  • I suppose it’s that time of the month again.
  • Don’t you think you should lose some weight.
  • Are you a feminist? Does that mean like you hate men?
  • Feminists are so annoying
  • Don’t curse, it’s very unladylike.
  • Isn’t that skirt too short?
  • That dress does not suit her body at all.
  • Did you see what she was wearing today? Is this the age to wear such clothes?
  • Don’t be so loud, it’s unladylike.
  • You’re funny for a girl.
  • You’re smart for a girl
  • You’re too bossy for a girl.
  • Don’t party out too late.
  • Oh my god it was just a joke, don’t take it to your heart.
  • You play video games?
  • You have gotten so tan. I’ll tell you many ways to get that off.
  • Those are not the kind of clothes you should be wearing
  • You’re wearing too much make-up.
  • You should probably wear more make-up.
  • Why do you guys have to make everything such a big deal.
  • Sit properly.
  • Just calm down and smile
  • Speak softly
  • She is a Feminazi
  • Can you understand what is going on? (while watching any sports)
  • You don’t know how to cook? Girls should know how to cook food.
  • When are you planning on getting settled?
  • You’re a pretty good driver for a woman.
  • Wax yourself, what will people say?
  • What do you mean you don’t like shopping?
  • It’s so nice that your husband let’s you work after marriage.
  • How do you manage kids and work at the same time?
  • Girls shouldn’t drink.
  • When are you having a second child?
  • When are you planning on having kids?
  • If you go out and work who will take care of the house?
  • Don’t be so aggressive and don’t fight
  • You fight like a girl
  • He only teases you because he likes you.
  • You will not get a good guy…

 

These don’t even complete the long list of things women have to hear all their life. Most people say these things because that is what they have heard all their life and it may not seem like something of offense to you but it is, it is. There was a time in my life when people used to ask me why I was a feminist and to them it never really made sense. Most of them were boys. I was picked on a lot in 7th and 8th grade and most of the time it was because I was a feminist and just as weird as it sounds it is true. For them being a feminist was an insult. They used to call me a Feminazi. Even now if I ask boys whether they are feminists, they will reply with a no because they think it means putting women above men but it is the complete opposite. It is about getting women to the same level as men and many would debate that females have more rights than men but it is completely bonkers if anybody believes that. 

A female gets married and she is usually the one who leaves her house, at least in India. She has to change her surname, leave her house, and change her identity. A name may not be a big deal to anybody but your name is a big part of your identity. When you are born you are given a name and that name is your whole identity and when a woman marries a man and changes her surname she is changing her identity and men don’t have to. It’s not just that but they never really have their last name. When they are born they are given their father’s surname and when they get married they get their husband’s surname and if a female decides to keep her surname the same she will get loads of criticism. Why, because she is not changing his identity or because she isn’t somebody’s property. A woman has a right to her name, Her father or her husband shouldn’t be the factors of her identity. 

Apart from that so many women get shit for their bodies and the clothes they are wearing. You won’t believe how many times have I heard, ‘did you see what she was wearing today? It did not suit her body.’ Why does it matter what somebody else is wearing? It doesn’t matter how short the dress is or even how somebody looks in it. I don’t see how it’s anybody’s business. I never hear anybody comment on what a man should or shouldn’t wear. they can wear whatever, however they want without ten people judging them. A woman wears something short and people will not stop to tell her she shouldn’t wear clothes like that. 1, short clothes are made and they are meant to be worn by women and 2, it is her body and she can wear what she pleases without anybody’s unnecessary comments on her body. Like a man a woman has full right over her body and her wardrobe. You’d say, “then she should just wear whatever she wants and ignore the people who are talking shit about her,” but my question is why is she getting shit about wearing clothes that she likes to wear. And nobody should deal with people calling them names and commenting on them because it lowers their self-esteem and their self-confidence.

You go to a party and you see 10 fat men and a single fat female. You will still comment on her because she is a female and for some people, it may not be true but for so many it is. People will tell her how much she should have or what she should wear. Let me make this very clear, what looks good on somebody or what doesn’t look good on somebody is none of your business because it’s their body and they can wear what they think they look good in. People wear what helps them feel good and telling somebody or telling somebody behind their back only degrades. A fat woman especially gets told what looks good on her body and what she should wear and my advice to all those females is to wear what you want. Wear what makes you feel good in your skin. When you tell somebody they are too thin or they are too fat you are not helping them. Let them be. They know what they are doing. Telling them that they should eat less food or exercise more is not going to help them. By saying such things you make the person feel like there is something wrong with them which there isn’t. They’ll do what they want to do with their bodies when they like. Period. 

I am so sick of people who say, like a girl or you’re something for a girl. I throw like a girl, I cry like a girl, I hit like a girl, I fight like a girl and I run like a girl because I am a girl and I am not ashamed that I am. There is this really good quote that says it all by Mia Hamm. It goes like, ‘My coach said I run like a girl. And I said if he ran a little faster he could too.’ People say these phrases as an insult but it is not. These phrases are used towards boys as well but it is sexist and false. Because running like a girl or fighting like a girl means I do it well and I give my best doing it. So if someone says, you do things like a girl, say thank you because it is not an insult but it is a compliment. People love saying you too, something, for a girl. I’m not funny, smart, bossy, for a girl because I am a girl, and girls are funny, smart, and bossy and anything else they want to be. They shouldn’t be told what are or are not for a girl. To everyone who says these things, well you’re too narrow-minded for a boy. 

People at my age don’t get this comment because we’re too young but in Indian society an Indian female has to hear so much. Sometimes I wonder how they handle all the nonsense they have to hear. Girls are labeled as caretakers of the family and once they are an adult everyone gets after their life for them to get married. Most Indian aunties like saying these things. Guys won’t marry a fat girl, lose some weight. Guys won’t marry a dark-skinned girl. A guy won’t marry girls smarter than them. So let me just say, I and all other girls don’t care about what a guy wants. If a woman is not married by the age of 30 she has to face so many people telling her that she is getting old and that nobody will marry her. Forget the concept of love for a second, let her decide when she wants to get married. If she wanted to get married she would have been married. She doesn’t want people telling her what she should do with her life. If you want to make a change in someone’s life maybe you should try making a change in yours. She doesn’t need to hear when she should get married and what she needs to be able to get married. Now I may be completely wrong but I don’t see anybody giving the trash to men who aren’t married.

In society people expect the man to earn the money and for a woman to stay home and help with the household stuff. In so many Indian families women still don’t get a chance to go outside and live their dreams and for those women who do they are looked down upon because that’s not what they should be doing. They get asked whether their husband allowed them to work. Why does a wife need her husband’s permission to work? I think from now on females should also permit their husbands to work. After marriage a female should just decide whether the husband should work or not because that’s what happens today, right? What men so rightfully brag about, them giving their wives the freedom to work, it’s not their freedom to give in the first place. When you “allow” your wife to work you take control of her freedom and by giving them the right to do what they can already do in the first place you have this pride but she doesn’t need your permission. She never did. Female’s work is just as important as a mans. So when people tell her she should quit her job they should say that to a man too because they both need to work on their house, they both need to work on their kid and they both need to work on their family. A marriage is a 50-50 relationship so when you ask somebody to do something ask both of them because they both share the same responsibilities. A woman can work when she wants and how she wants without people telling her she should quit because she has kids or because she should be in the kitchen and washing clothes and doing other household work. If you’re so concerned about how the house will work if a female loves her job, why don’t you do the household work instead of her? You are spending so much time prying in somebody else’s life, why don’t you just do the work for them.

Then there are things as small as waxing. Though this is just a case for hygiene, men don’t have to wax. A female has armpit hair, everyone around her will judge her but if a man had armpit her it wouldn’t matter, why? A man will drink, curse, shout and nobody will judge him but if a female does so then everyone will. Our society likes using two very similar terms, slut and stud and they both mean the same things yet one of them is a positive thing and one is negative. A female who sleeps with more than 1 person gets labeled a slut but if a guy does the same people call him a stud, which is a compliment. This is how screwed up our society is. If a man and a woman divorce only the woman is tagged as a divorcee all her life. She will get hate just because the man she fell in love with did not turn out to be who she thought he was. A man will never be tagged as a divorced guy. The society wouldn’t even care but a woman is. People look down on her and this is just one of many things that society does unfairly. 

Let’s talk about a more serious note, rape. Don’t get me wrong, I know men get raped and abused too but in India, women get raped more often. Nirbhaya rape case, four people raped her and killed her and this happened about 7 years ago, and not until a few months back did the government hang the rapist. 7 year. At this point it doesn’t even feel like justice anymore because of how long it took for them to punish these people for the crime they commit. When asked whether they thought what they did was right or wrong they said they didn’t think rape was a crime. 1 in 3 women gets sexually abused in India. What people like saying is, it was her fault because she was wearing short clothes. When I hear people say things like this I am enraged because what do you mean. Are you saying she deserved to be raped because of the clothes she was wearing? It doesn’t matter what they wear. Priyanka Reddy was wearing nothing wrong but she got raped. You have an excuse for that. They burned her alive. Did she deserve that? If she was a man the most they would have done would beat her up and take her wallet away but since she was a female they did something else. People said they raped her but why did they have to burn her but my question is why did they have to rape her in the first place. For a female it’s scary walking alone on the streets and it is because of what men have done. Men don’t have to live with the fear that if they go out alone on the roads somebody will do something to them but we do. We have to be alert at all times and that is what our society is. 

In so many places women are hit by their husbands. The movie, Thappad portrays the Indian Society very well. In the movie the husband slaps his wife and he doesn’t in the slightest bit think he is wrong because he thought he had a right on his wife which nobody does. Nobody has right over you besides yourself. In the movies, the maid who worked for the family got beaten up by her husband for the smallest of reasons, and one day she didn’t lock him inside and she fought back. For many of us the problem is that we accept the crap the society gives us. We take it in even though we are enraged and angered. We laugh it off or don’t do anything about it and in every scenario it is the worst thing to do. If we don’t speak up now we never will and someday we will pass on all the horrible things people said to us to our children. Somebody comments on who you are or what you should straighten them out. Be defensive because it is about time we change society. 

Do you want to know what society is? This is the Indian Society. Women tearing down women. Men tearing down Women. Our society seems normal but it isn’t. It is so much worse. India was recently named the world’s most unsafe country for women. And I am so sick of people saying that females have more than enough rights and that India has equality between genders because none of it is true and people are way too arrogant to believe it. Gender has always been an issue in India and though a female can work, and they have the right to vote and can do many things that a man can she also has to deal with the society when she does the things she loves. The problem is what is being taught. You can teach a person math, science, language and any other subjects but if you don’t teach them how to treat others you’re aren’t teaching them anything. Instead of changing what a girl is wearing men should change the way they look at girls. They should be educated about their bodies and they should be taught how to respect women because very few men actually respect women in this country.  A woman is strong, she deals with seven days of pain and a rollercoaster of emotions every month. She carries a child inside her for 9 months so I don’t care if I’m coming off as defensive or rude or negative but I am done with how people treat females. I need change and I need it now. 

And for all those people who like saying there is equality. Women get paid 24.81% less than a man in the same field. There are 3,38,954 crimes against women out of which 38,947 are rape cases in 2016 and it just keeps growing. India ranks 131 among 152 countries in the global ranking of Woman’s Inclusion and well-being. 48% of the Indian population is women and yet only 12% of females hold seats in the national legislature.The literacy ratio of India is 65.38% with male literacy at 75.85% and female literacy at 54.16%. And it’s not because they aren’t capable, it is because they aren’t given opportunities. So if you think this is equality then I don’t know what to say to you. The worst part of all is that women don’t stick together. More women say these statements than men which makes everything so much worse. You should be supporting each other not tearing each other down. You don’t have anything good to say then don’t say anything at all because nobody needs to hear what they should or shouldn’t be doing with their life. This society needs change. I’m not saying bring women above men but I’m saying get women where men are.

This is what the society looks like today. 

This is what we want the society to look like. Both men and women have so much to offer but we live in a world where people consider women to be inferior. Help me change society and people’s thinking. Share this post to 10 people and ask them to share with 10 other people because this is a serious problem in the society and the more it is ignored the worse it will get. It won’t take you two second to share this with people and imagine how much difference those two clicks can make. You want real equality, help me change the society by sharing this post because it’s the small things that make a difference. If we can’t change things at home then we can’t change society.

Like it if you agree. Comment down your opinion on this subject.

Image and statistics sites.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_pay_gap_in_India

https://tribune.com.pk/story/1195788/balancing-creating-gender-sensitive-guidelines-media/

https://www.motif.com/blog/men-vs-women-investing

https://www.smilefoundationindia.org/ourchildren.html

W

https://theconversation.com/feminism-hasnt-sold-out-even-if-its-being-used-as-a-marketing-tool-122839

https://www.dawn.com/news/1540664

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/489766528208556653/

https://weheartit.com/entry/249898118

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/happy-women-girls-standing-together-holding-1181472052

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/yes-can-do-poster-pop-art-1036222684

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